Who is this person and what did she do with my daughter?

As most parents know, our children know exactly how to push our buttons. They push and push and keep pushing them until most have little control over their reactions to these increased emotions.

So what do many parents do?

They yell.. and when they are feeling like they are not being heard they yell even louder.

When this happens, teens know they are now in the driver’s seat. This is exactly the time when we must attempt to stay calm…to ride out the storm of their emotional tirades.. or else you are bound to have either an ineffective conversation or give an unrealistic and excessive punishment.

So what can we do to reduce the conflicts we have with our teens?

To start, attempt to control yourself and not your teen’s behavior. If you can remain calm and in charge of your own reactions it will show. It is usually pointless to attempt to force your teen to stop yelling, swearing or just being downright rude.

Walk away. Do not attempt to continue an argument that is unproductive. The old saying “It takes 2 to Tango” relates to this since your teen can only continue to argue with you if you are there and invested in the argument.

But do not just walk away. Tell your teen you are not going to continue having an argument that is serving no positive purpose and that you will be available to talk later on when you are both calmer. Let your teen get the last word.. it will speak volumes later on despite the urge to answer back.

 

Important Notice: The information presented above is provided for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for consulting a psychologist or other mental health professional to discuss your unique situation. If you would like to talk with me about it, you may call my office at 914-329-5355.