Imagine you are out for dinner with friends and your phone starts buzzing.. you look down at your text messages and see you have not one, but 3 new messages. Thinking something has gone terribly wrong at home, (where your 3 teenage children are unsupervised) you check your texts, excusing your behavior to your friends and sharing your concern for a possible emergency.

“Stacey won’t stop bothering me. She is wearing my sweatpants and I didn’t say she could. You need to punish her.”

“Mom, Lisa is going to text you telling her I took her sweats without asking.. I didn’t have anything to wear Friday morning and she already left for school so I borrowed her pants. I put them on again tonight when I went to let the dog back in and she saw me in her pants.. she went crazy!!! I didn’t do anything wrong. Mom, help- she won’t stop yelling at me!”

“Mom, Stacey and Lisa won’t stop fighting and I can’t concentrate on my homework. When are you going to be home????”

Does this sound familiar at all? What is a mother to do? Chaos is ensuing at home and you are not there to quell the fire..

First, I recommend you stay as calm as possible. Tell your daughter, who of course doesn’t stop at a text but then calls as well, that there is nothing you can do while you are not home and you will address it when you get back. If she persists in telling you that you should punish her sister, calmly tell her that you are the parent and you will make the disciplinary decisions.

 Most likely, when you arrive home a few hours later all will be forgotten and quiet in the house… until the next issue arises..

Above all, attempt to model the behavior you’d like your children to follow. Inform all there are rules to follow and common courtesy to their siblings (and parents) should be paramount. Your kids need to figure out for themselves how to get along and if mom (or dad) keeps running to the rescue with every little infraction they will most likely have greater difficulty making their own decisions and trusting their own judgment.

Important Notice: The information presented above is provided for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for consulting a psychologist or other mental health professional to discuss your unique situation.