Ahhh.. The Holidays.. A time of peace, joy and love abounds.. Sounds nice right? But does it sound realistic? In most houses, in addition to those warm feelings comes a significant amount of stress and tension, particularly when kids are off from school, extended families are getting together and there is still so much to do to prepare. Parents then become on edge which in turn can make the kids react and also become on edge. So what can we do about it?
I know I’ve said this time and time again but I can’t say it enough.
Pick Your Battles
When your teen does something you disagree with, if possible, think about using a “Pause” button. Ask yourself if you really need to react the way you want to and what the end result will be. It’s quite possible that you are “right” and can “win” the argument, however, what did you win? Try to gauge how important the battle is before taking the risk of the results the fight will surely bring. Think back to your own teen years about the battles you had with your parents and see how many of those are still important today. Think of the time you have with your teens over the holidays as time you cannot get back and if you really want to spend that time arguing with them.
Make Home The Place Your Teen Wants To Be And Can Be Themselves
Do you find yourself constantly picking up after everyone, making sure all the rooms are clean and presentable for company? Do you get annoyed at your kids if they have their feet up on the coffee table or if they leave their “stuff” in the den instead of bringing it to their room and putting it away? Can it be okay to have a jigsaw puzzle in progress on the living room table? Do you get upset with your daughter if she leaves her guitar on the couch? If this sounds like you, try to take a deep breath and tell yourself you’d rather have your kids feel comfortable in their home during holiday time instead of feeling on edge to constantly pick up after themselves or else face the wrath of mom/dad. Try to enjoy the time spent doing that puzzle or singing along while your daughter plays a song on her guitar. Those are the things memories are made from, not the neatness level of your house. Please don’t hear me saying having a clean house isn’t important; instead hear the message that your house should be a place of rest and relaxation over the holidays, not a place of constant fighting, lecturing and bickering. If you can manage it, do what you need to do to prevent some of the struggles you are having so you don’t have to regret it later on.
