I recently watched an episode of “Modern Family” in which the oldest daughter, Haley, brings a “boyfriend” home. She immediately brings him up to her room where they watch a dvd on her laptop while lounging on her bed. Claire, Haley’s mom, keeps getting nervous about what is going on in her daughter’s room and barges in with folded laundry. She mentions reminiscing about what she did as a teen which made her nervous. This scene got me thinking about what advice I can give parents when their teen starts dating. Please note, these rules apply to both sons and daughters.

 

Let your teen know what is expected of her when she is with her boyfriend in your house. If you do this there are no misconceptions or chances for excuses of “I didn’t know..” One rule might be to always keep the door open when your daughter is in your bedroom with her boyfriend.

 

Give your teen space. This one might be difficult to follow but it is very important. If your daughter does what Haley did, realize that if your daughter is in your home and you raised her with good values you should trust she will behave herself in your home. If you  are constantly checking up on her she will probably go elsewhere with her boyfriend and you will know even less about what she is doing and where.

 

Never reprimand or argue with your daughter in front of her boyfriend. This will make her feel very uncomfortable and possibly have her act out in a negative manner.

 

Be a parent, not a friend. Realize that your teen needs you to be a parent which is very different than being their friend. When trying to present yourself in the best light possible please remember your teen’s boyfriend is trying to do the same. He is also probably nervous at the very idea of meeting his girlfriend’s parents.

 

 

 

Important Notice: The information presented above is provided for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for consulting a psychologist or other mental health professional to discuss your unique situation. If you’d like to speak with me about this call 914-329-5355.