Imagine you and your spouse disagreeing about something. Think of how you get your point across and how you respond to his/her reaction. Do you yell? Do you stop to listen to your spouse and actually hear what they are saying? Do you feel attacked and then become defensive? Does either person’s voice get so loud that it scares the other person? Now imagine if your teen (or younger child) hears you. What do they hear? How do they interpret what they hear? Arguing in front of your children might not always be such a bad thing if it teaches them about how to “fight fair.” Fighting fair includes following certain guidelines.

It is important not to include your teen in the argument. Do not ask for their opinion on who they think is right or wrong. Do not insult your spouse. Do not get physical. Do not threaten with divorce. Do not argue about matters children should not hear (i.e. sex.) Do not argue when in an altered state (i.e. drinking or sick.)

It is obviously better to keep the heated arguments hidden from your children but realize it is not the end of the world if you show there is a way to stand up for your point of view, express yourself and be able to “make up” and move on.